so it is the close of another week. it seems as though the weeks are fleeting by and before i know it i will be walking through national airport towards a familiar face and into familiar surroundings. but as the days speed by i have to admit a part of me is not looking forward to my departure from the philippines. it's a weird balance i have going on. the desire to see people i love yet the desire to continue to stretch and grow personally and professionally which i have experienced since my arrival.
as i get closer to finishing my tasks for my time at CFSI i wonder... is the organization gaining or benefiting from my presence as much as i am benefiting from being here? i have the proverbial question nagging me... is what i am doing actually doing something? will it be useful? or was it a task that simply kept a perceived well-intentioned recent grad busy for a few weeks? of course i hope that what i am doing is not in vain and completely worthless. but even if it is worthless... was it worth the trip?
today i was able to explore the neighborhood of CFSI. i believe i have shared this before but pasay city (where CFSI is located) is the hub of the sex industry in manila. to an untrained eye it is a place of filth both physically and morally. however, after a second look it is a place of hope and potential. everyday i walk two blocks from the LRT station (kinda like the metro) to the office. on this daily journey i walk past a few friendly faces, who always say good morning and remind me how beautiful i am :), and a market. now the market has all the good stuff....bananas, mangoes, calamansies, carrots, pineapples and the list goes on but the market also is home to vendors who do not have a place to call home other than their vending space, a place where children hang out all night hoping to make a few pesos on selling plastic bags and a hub for the workers of the sex industry.
as i explored the neighborhood i was taken to countless "drive-in" motels. these are establishments people can go, park their car in conspicuous garages and inhabit a room for 3 to 12 hours depending on their desires and "needs". it doesn't take a genius to figure out they are not renting the rooms to play nintendo. i think on my exploration i was introduced to around 10 or so "drive-in" motels. granted this is within the span of 2 or 3 dc blocks. and the truly disheartening part is that the majority of the motels are staffed by girls, as young as 11 or 12, who live around my office. girls or women who believe there is no other options in life. girls in danger of transmitting diseases, being trafficked and raped.
but at the same time i listen to the kids that come into CFSI and their hopes and dreams. their smiles which almost convince me they will not fall a vicitim to their surroundings. what happens to the young girl who just KNOWS she will become a doctor someday and the same girl 5 years later who is working in the local hotel victoria? i have no idea. and is there room to "save" those little girls from their potential fate of a career in a "drive in" motel? once again i don't know but here has to be something that can be done!!
today once again i am humbled... truly humbled. what is my role, what is my responsiblity in responding to social problems? oh to have a magic wand... hmmmm
anyways it was a good week and i hope you all had a fantastic holiday and a great weekend.
blessings.
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