a bit of perspective, please

so the half-way mark of my work in the philippines has officially been reached. some days it feels as though i just arrived last night other times it feels as though i have been in manila for months. this week has been a time of reflection in the attempt to gain more perspective in life.

i am a firm believer that every person should spend more than the length of a vacation in a new culture, spend time physically detached from your support system, spend time depending and discovering who you truly are when forced to face the unfamiliar on a daily basis. however, when does something become familiar? is it when you feel comfortable in the situation? is it when you build a threshold of tolerance? i mean i ride on a train to work and would say i am familiar with process of utilizing the transportation. i know that when i get to the top of the steps a security guard will "check" my bag for something i am not suppose to have, i will enter through the turn styles and wait for the next train to come. however, i do not understand what is being proclaimed through the overhead speakers, i do not understand why people do not shift to let a new wave of people onto the train and i definitely do not understand the concept of personal space or lack thereof inside the train. so yes i am familiar with aspects of my filipina life but have i become accustomed to it?

during my perspective seeking this past week i have come to realize some of my expectations for myself and for other are completely ridiculous. i expect everyone to be online ready to chat with me whenever i am ready to chat with them, i expect 100 emails daily and i expect EVERYONE to be sitting around just waiting with bated breath for my next blog. (a bit of sarcasm for those who miss it) i know ridiculous, right? as for myself... i expect myself to function as an independent entity in a foreign country that speaks a language i do not know a lick of, i expect never to suffer from any let downs bet it communication failures, cultural shock or professional challenges and i expect myself to love and appreciate all aspects of this experience. once again, unrealistic and ridiculous!

so as i get frustrated and irritated with the fact that once again my internet service blinks out at the exact moment i just HAVE to talk with someone i must force myself to gain perspective. can i really get upset about a less than consistent internet service when there are people literally immediately outside my office door that don't have a place to rest their head, wonder where and when their next meal will be and most definitely do not have the privileges i possess being a educated, white woman from the U. S. of A.? the grand conclusion of this perspective seeking is NO I DO NOT HAVE A RIGHT. i don't have a right to complain, to whine to get upset over the non-necessities of life when there are people in pasay city, manila, philippines that don't even possess a hook-up for water. geez... get your priorities straight, jeanette.

can i predict how this experience will alter my perspective in life? absofreakin'lutely not but i am positive it will and i am positive it will be for the positive.

pensive blessings...